Love is a big word in everyone's vocabulary, but not everyone means the same thing when we use the word. Indeed, the modern world has adopted a notion of love that is completely different from the love taught and modeled by Jesus Christ.source
Modern Love:
Based on experience- happens to a person when the "chemistry is right"
Biblical Love:
Based on a decision- We can decide to invest ourselves in another by giving of ourselves to meet his or her needs. Christ decided to die for us before we even existed (Ephesians 1:3)
Modern Love:
Defined by feeling- "I love you" means I feel a certain warmth, desire, or affinity for you
Biblical Love:
Compatible with feeling- "I love you" may sometimes mean a feeling, but it always means a commitment to serve. Jesus may not have felt desire or warmth toward the soldiers who flogged him, but he died for them anyway
Modern Love:
Can't be controlled- Love has to happen, so I can't be expected to choose to love someone. Therefore, love, or lack of love, is not a moral issue-
Biblical Love:
Can be controlled- Christian love is based on personal choice and commitment. Therefore, it is a moral issue (Mark 12:28-31)
Modern Love:
Depends on the other person- He or she must be attractive or lovely enough to elicit a love response in me
Biblical Love:
Depends on God and me- I can love the unlovely, like Christ did when he died for us while we were enemies of God (Romans 5:10)
Modern Love:
Self-affirming- Love is a good feeling and must be two-way. If a relationship is not rewarding to me, I have the right to leave and find another.
Biblical Love:
Self-sacrificial- Christian love is seeking to give victoriously and keeps no record of whether the other person gives back. (I Corinthians 13:5)
Modern Love:
Meets others' desires- Effort is extended to please or pacify others by doing what they want.
Biblical Love:
Meets others' needs- Christian love is concerned with doing what is good for another, not with what the other wants. This love recognizes that what people want and what they need are often different. The other person may need confrontation even if he or she doesn't want it.
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THE BIBLICAL MEANING OF LOVEsource
1 JOHN 4:7-10
Introduction: The primary meaning of the word "love" in Scripture is a "purposeful commitment to sacrificial action for another." In the Bible it is a fact that loving God is equated with obeying His Word. The two are inseparable.
In our day, most define love as some type of feeling. We "fall in love," or two people meet and it is "love at first sight." But the world's love is a selfish matter. If you are attractive to me, be nice to me, meet my needs and love me I in return will "love" you. The world's love is based on getting something from some else. The world does not give love where is does not benefit themselves. If you do not please me then I have no love for you. Thus for the world love must be earned by making someone else feel good.
Powerful emotions may accompany love, but it is the commitment of the will that holds true biblical love steadfast and unchanging. Emotions may change, but a commitment to love in a biblical manner endures and is the hallmark of a disciple of Christ. Sadly, the opposite is also true.
Emotions will vary, but a commitment which has its basis in biblical love will not be affected by the whelm of emotion or of one's circumstances.
Our example of true love is shown in God's love for the sinner. Romans 5:8 says ". . .commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." The lost sinner living in rebellion and sin is still loved by the Lord. He loved us enough to die for us and pay our sin debt while we were sinning against Him. This shows that true biblical love is a matter of will....not of emotion. God choose to love us and His love was not based on our meriting it in any way.
1 John 4:8 tells us that ". . . God is love."
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